Satan's Answer to Pat Robertson

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Subject: Fw: Satan's answer to Pat Robertson

FYI
Subj: Jerk 
 

SATAN RESPONDS TO PAT ROBERTSON IN THE MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE  Dear Pat Robertson,  I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you succeeded in making God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action.  But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads" ? Or "Damn Yankees"? Or "Bedazzled"?  If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.  You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please.  Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.  Best,  Satan  P.S. Don't send any more tea-bags. Residents here don't see things the way they used to ...

Bob Belenky
80 Lyme Road, apt 105
Hanover, NH 03755-1229
603 678-4155 or 802 428-4141
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http://haitirenaissiance.blogspot.com/

http://robertbelenky.com